Midlife Beginnings

A couple weeks ago I wrote about how things had slowed down at work. Well that didn’t last very long: The last few days have been brutal. So on Monday I started thinking about what I could do over the Fourth of July Weekend to escape my overworked life. I knew that, whatever I did, it would have to be a frugal weekend. First, I tried to rent a car, but there was not a car to be found anywhere in the NYC metro area — every single car had been booked at every company I checked. So then I started looking at hotel prices that are an easy train ride away from NYC. But for some reason the prices in Washington and Boston where astronomical. So next thing I checked out airfares for cities within a three-hour flight of New York, and was able to find a great deal on a flight to Toronto — $250 round trip on LAN Airlines. LAN Airlines? Well, I was a bit nervous too — I’d never even heard of LAN Airlines. But the flight was short, and perfectly pleasant on a newish 767, so within 2 1/2 hours of leaving my apartment this morning, I found myself outside the Toronto Airport, looking for the rocket bus to downtown Toronto.

My Mom is from Montreal, and we traveled there at least 3 or 4 times per year from our house in Connecticut when I was growing, but I had only been to Toronto one time before today, about 20 years ago, when I was in my mid-20’s. My recollection was of a rather stuffy, gray, homogeneous city where everyone was English and Anglican, and conformed to a WASPy 1950’s view of the world. My mother’s ancestry is English too, but even many of the English in Montreal had a joie de vivre and openness that seemed to be completely lacking from the Toronto that I remembered.

What a difference 20 years makes! After a day here, Toronto strikes me as a fascinating city, not at all like the bland place that I remember. Well, maybe my recollection was colored by the fact that I was with my parents on that trip and didn’t get around much. But the city I saw today was one that I could be very happy living in.

I’ll write more tomorrow, for it’s Friday evening, and time to go and check out the gay scene. But first, a couple quick observations:

1: This is an extremely diverse city. In many ways it reminded me of Queens, NY, which is the most diverse county in the US, with a population that is 25% White, 25% Black, 25% Asian and 25% Latino. But in Queens, different groups form their own enclaves — they might live very close to each other but they have their own neighborhoods. In Toronto, every neighborhood I have seen so far is mixed and has all kinds of different people.

2: Coming in from the airport, my first impression of Toronto was that it was a “city of the car,” like Los Angeles. There are a LOT of highways — big, 12 lane things like the Jersey Turnpike. And unlike most Eastern US cities — where highways were built long after the cities were built — in Toronto it seems like they build the highway through the farmland first, and then the suburban neighborhoods are rolled out across the farmland around them. This is a big, sprawling city. But surprisingly much of it is very walkable, and well-connected with public transportation. I walked over eight miles today, from near the corner of Young and Bloor, where my hotel is, all the way to Queen Street and Dufferin. During my entire route, European-style street cars whizzed down the various roads that I walked on: one could get by without a car here, like I do in Brooklyn.

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Now that things have calmed down at my job I have had more time to pay attention to my blog. I checked my blog roll today and was surprised to find that almost half the blogs that I have linked to are defunct. I have a few blogs I check regularly but there are some that I had linked to because either I’d found them interesting but then forgot about them, or because I felt others might be interested in them.

At any rate, I’ve deleted those old links, and spent the day exploring the blogosphere for new sites — another favorite activity that I haven’t had time for until recently. (After I leave my current job, I will never ever take another job that requires 60+ hour work weeks — one can’t really live when one works those kinds of hours.)

Anyway, in my explorations, I came across a few good ones. Clever Dude’s blog tracks his & his wife’s progress in paying back $110,000 in consumer debt over the past three years, along with some good financial tips. They’ve paid down $93k so far, which gives me hope for my own debt paydown.

Four Pillars is a Canadian financial blog full of practical advice. Today’s article on Freegans is a good one. I guess I’m a bit of a Freegan, picking through used books on the sidewalks to find ones to sell.

Other interesting and practical financial blogs I looked through are Weakonomics, Get Rich Slowly, Five Cent Nickel (one of these days I’ll have to try making my own laundry detergent with that blog’s laundry detergent recipe), MoneyNing, Dual Income No Kids, Wise Bread (this blog is written by a group of bloggers), and Mrs Micah’s Finance for a Freelance Life.

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I don’t usually do product reviews, but I felt moved to write about my new netbook.

I will be doing some travelling this summer, and have been mulling over the idea of getting a laptop. A couple months ago I started noticing little “netbooks” at Circuit City. I especially noticed the price, under $500, but was hesitant to buy one for several reasons — the small screen and keyboard being among them. Also, I just didn’t see how anything so small and cheap could perform well.

But I didn’t like the idea of forking out over $1000 for a laptop this Summer. ]I have a nice desktop on which to do my more intensive computer work. So I started doing some research, and finally made my purchase yesterday — a Samsung N120 for about $420. This little netbook has a gig of RAM and a 160GB hard drive, and is able to handle Word and Excel 2003 just fine. It weighs about 3 lbs with battery and fits in my one of the pockets of my daypack. It sits comfortably in my lap and is perfect for writing emails and blog entries. The keyboard full-size and typing on it is a breeze. The netbook is solid and has performed without a hitch. I’ve had it for 24 hours now and absolutely love it. I’m in my backyard now writing this entry, and couldn’t be more comfortable, in an Adirondack chair with my netbook on my lap.

My netbook would never replace my desktop — the screen is too small for desktop publishing, intensive data analysis or web design. Also, I think one really needs a home network to take advantage of the netbook as well. In my case I set the main document folder of my PC to “share,” and making it a drive on my netbook, and now I can open and access all of my files with my netbook from my desktop without difficulty.

But the real reason I bought this netbook was to be able to work away from my desk and apartment, and I’m already seeing the potential that this netbook has for giving me that freedom. In the past, taking my notebook on a trip with me was always a hassle, but when I put this netbook into my bag I can barely feel it. I can just stick it in my bag in the morning and forget it until the urge to write hits me. Now I can literally blog from anywhere!

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My third day of not working. Ah vacation, I wish it could last forever! But I only have one more day off — tomorrow — and then it’s back to the old grind.

Today I decided on a new design for my blog. I liked the old one, but the template was very difficult to use and to customize, plus for some reason none of my widgets could be updated. This new template is much more flexible. My project for tomorrow is to update to Wordpress 2.8. Sounds like a simple project, but I can see it eating up my day.

I’ve received several comments over the last couple weeks about my budget — either that it’s too draconian, or complementing me for being able to manage to stick to it. Truth is, I wrote yesterday that I “could” pay my debts off in eight months, but it won’t be easy. In fact, it would require cutting my gym membership, my cable, cutting my grocery spending by 30% and my miscellaneous expenses by half. It would mean no vacations, no good wines, no dinners out, no new clothes, and no entertaining. It would mean reducing my expenses to the bare minimum.

On the one hand, it’s only eight months I’m talking about here. I could just bite the bullet and do it, and then be done with this phase in my life. On the other hand, I do need to live. I’ve been pretty frugal for a year and a half now, paying down $20k in debt so far, and I would have paid off more if I hadn’t lent M. money. By living the way I have been for the past year for the next twelve months, I’ll be able to dedicate $2,300 per month to my debt and be done with paying it off by next August — 14 months from now. And I’ll be able to keep my gym membership and have a few “extras” each month, as well as a cheap vacation later this Summer.

I hate knowing that I have this debt and I hate the process of paying it off. The whole process sucks — I wish I could snap my fingers and be done with it, but I do need to accept that this is where I am. it really takes time and discipline to keep moving in the right direction. I’m in much better shape than I was 16 months ago: I am making good progress.

I think I’ll cut a road in between the two options above, letting myself have the occasional extra, but pushing myself to spend less and allocate more to debt payments. If I can put $2,500 toward my debt each month, I’ll have it wiped out within a year.

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I’m taking a four-day weekend. And, as has been the case so often this Spring in New York City, it is gray and rainy outside. I can’t believe it’s June 12 and I haven’t turned on the air conditioner yet! I’ve spent the better part of today catching up on bills and financial stuff. I finally got my 2008 taxes off to the accountant (I had to ask him to file an extension around April 15, which gives me until October), and have entered my expenses for the past month. I also did an analysis of all of my expenses by category over the past six months. Doing so is always a real eye-opener. Did I really spend $300 each month on wine? I do like my good wines.

I also determined that I could pay all my debts by February if I were to cut the cable, cut the gym, keep my grocery bills to $500 per month and all of my other expenses to $500 per month. Oh, and no more wine, of course. Can I do this? Well, it would be a pretty draconian budget, but it sure would feel good in February when my debts are paid off — only 8 months from now.

I’m still going back and forth on taking the retirement loan to pay off the credit card whose interest rate is going up to 19%. Without the loan, I’d be able to pay it off by December, so would only be paying that high interest rate for 6 months. On some level, I really think it’s better to just bite the bullet and pay the card off out of my wages, rather than take on other types of debt.

I’ve gotten all of the unpleasant paperwork out of the way. Hopefully it’ll clear up tomorrow and I’ll be able to enjoy my long weekend outdoors!

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So we finished our special project at work last weekend, and I have been taking it easy ever since. Lots of bike rides, a couple dinners with friends, some gardening, and catching up on stuff around the house. But I’ve stayed away from the computer — until now. I just got through my monthly financial paperwork, and logged onto my 401k account to see that my balance is above 100k — I’m up over 30% since I went back in a couple months ago! And my net worth is up 25k in the past three months as well. The little NetworthIQ chart at the top of my blog has resumed its upward trend.

I also did some analysis of my budget and debt repayment plan. I’m being forced to make some changes. A few weeks back, I was watching the Suze Orman show and she talked about how banks are closing peoples’ credit card accounts and/or raising their interest rates, even if they have good credit. I have about $25,000 on my credit cards, mostly at a low 1.9% introductory rate that is supposedly for the life of the balance, and I hade been planning to leave it there for as long as the rates were that low. I have excellent credit (FICO about 775), so I really didn’t think that the bank would jack up my interest rates. But yesterday I got the letter in the mail — the rates on my two Chase cards are being raised to prime plus 13%, which will make them about 19.5%. If I were to leave the balances on those cards, I’d be forking out about $5000 per year in interest. That’s usury as far as I’m concerned, and should be illegal. If you’re reading this, consider yourself warned. But it isn’t illegal for the banks to do this — not yet anyway — so raise my rates they will.

Fortunately I have options. I can borrow up to $45,000 from my 401k at 6% interest, which I will be paying back to myself.

I know all the reasons not to do this. For starters, credit card debt is unsecured debt so I can always stop paying it and there’s nothing they can do. (I plan to pay my credit cards regardless, so this reason doesn’t apply to me.)

Also, I’ll miss a year’s worth of asset appreciation in my 401k account (I’ve already seen my balance go up by more than 30% since I got back three months ago, and I don’t think it will go much further this year.)

If I lose my job I will have to pay back the full loan or else pay taxes on it (I plan to pay the full amount back by next February, and so will just have to make sure I keep my job until then.) The good thing is that, when I finally do leave my job, I will be debt free.

So I will be taking a $25,000 loan from my retirement account next month, and will pay off all my credit cards shortly thereafter. I’ll be credit-card debt free for the first time since I got my first credit card about 25 years ago.

And I’ll pay off the loan within a year — I’ll keep my blog updated about how this goes.

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The long weekend is almost over, and it’s been wonderful. I’ve been biking, blogging and book-scouting, three things which I love to do. I’ve also taken hundreds of pictures with my new camera over the past three days. I’ve had time to relax, to catch up on paperwork, to catch up on reading and to catch up with friends.

Another good thing is that I have spent a grand total of $25 over the entire weekend. I bought groceries Thursday night, so have had plenty of food to eat. It’s been a struggle at times though. it’s not easy to stick to a budget. I had flashes of feeling seriously deprived, but the thought of slaving away at 70-hour weeks for the next five years at my bank job to pay for a bunch of things that I won’t even remember in five years was enough to keep my wallet in my pocket. As I pay more attention to what I spend, I realize that it’s not the big things that keep me poor, but rather I nickel and dime myself into debt: a coffee here, a bottle of wine there, a quick meal at the take-out place and the next thing I know I’ve spent a hundred dollars.

I thought a lot about my job over the weekend, about how many hours I’ve been working, how it takes over my life, and how I really want to get out of there. I had thought I would move on by last Winter, but I wasn’t expecting a recession to come and slam my eBay and Amazon sales. I want to get out of that job more than ever now, but to do so is going to require redoubled effort on my part. I really need to keep my expenses in line with my goals. I’m almost there — another few months — but that feeling of deprivation is my weak spot, my enemy, and will cause me to sabotauge myself if I am not careful.

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It’s a beautiful Saturday afternoon, and a 3-day weekend stretches languidly before me. I’m tempted to go out book-scouting now, but from experience I know that three-day weekends are not the best times for stoop sales and flea markets in New York City. And besides, I’d really rather just take some time off for a change, relax around the apartment and catch up on my reading.

The busy period at work that I’ve written about is winding down. Our project will go live next weekend. I’ve finished my testing and checking things over, and am confident that everything I am responsible for will go as expected (fingers crossed!). In fact, I was able to get out of the office by 6pm almost every day last week, and caught up with friends over dinner on two different nights — after several weeks of not having time or energy to see much of anyone outside of work. It feels good to be wrapping things up, but the next project is already on the horizon, and I doubt I’ll get more than a week or two to catch up on all the stuff I’ve been letting slide before I get pulled into extended planning sessions. Yech.

M. got back from Brazil a few ago as well. There’s definitely some friction there — we’ve been sleeping in separate rooms at my insistence. Still, aside from the money issues, I realize that I am fond of him. I just don’t understand how someone can be good-hearted in so many ways, but still be so irresponsible about money.

Last week during one of my thrift store trips I came across a guitar for $50. It’s in perfect condition; like new. On an impulse I bought it, thinking I’d resell it on eBay for a hundred or so. But I got home that night and made an attempt to play it for a little while. Next thing I knew I was going online to find books about playing guitar, and have been practicing for half an hour each evening. I find it relaxes me. I think I have a new hobby.

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I’m feeling deprived First, I’ve been working ungodly hours at my day job. Second, I haven’t been making much from my side business because I haven’t had time to look for books. How about that — the more I work, the less I earn. I haven’t been getting out much either. And third, it hit me today that I haven’t had any social life at all for a couple weeks now. Zip, zilch. I had dinner with a friend two weeks ago and since then nothing. Since I’ve been in meetings and interacting with co-workers on a pretty intense level all day, the last thing I want to do is to see anyone. And then the weekend comes around and I have a million things to catch up on, finances to update, books to list and pack, and suddenly it’s Monday and time to start the rat race again for another week.

It’s not all bad though. I just did my financial update for end of April, and found out that I’ve paid another thousand dollars of debt off. For the first time in years my total debt is below $30,000. (I just paid another thousand today and will have two thousand more to pay to my debt at the end of May, so that financial update will be a good one.) My investments increased in value by more than 10%, and my net worth is above $65,000, the highest it has ever been.

It’s not easy being frugal and responsible. Over and over I’m faced with a choice — to spend or to choose not to spend. Should I eat lunch out, or should I bring a sandwich. Should I return my friends’ calls and go out for dinner ad a movie, or should I go home, cook and stay in? Should I meet another friend at the bar for a couple drinks, or should I go to the gym or work out? We’re faced with dozens of choices like this every day, and frugality means taking the less expensive choice. It’s hard not to feel deprived, but when I look at how well I’ve been doing financially for the past couple months…well, if I had made the right choices for the past 20 years, I’d be retired at 46 and enjoying life far more than I do now!

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I’ve been pretty lame about writing in my blog lately — in fact, the three weeks that have passed since my last entry have marked the longest time without a blog entry since I started this thing. My hiatus hasn’t been relationship-related though, but rather work-related. My firm is beginning a joint venture with another bank, and we’re busy preparing. About two months ago I noticed that the senior managers on our floor (my group — Research — has been folded into Firm Management) were spending entire days locked in conference rooms, and then staying until late in the night to send out emails. My poor boss was writing me emails at 3am. My first impression of all this activity was that another round of layoffs was coming, but about three weeks ago the floodgates opened and the work started pouring down on me and my team.

I work with a lot of high-powered, type-A people who think nothing of staying at the office until 1 or 2 in the morning, for days on end. Me, I try to avoid this, but it’s been unavoidable for the past couple weeks. I’ve basically been putting in fifteen hours per day, seven days per week for 18 days straight. Doing this didn’t used to bother me. I remember times when I would work until 1am, get home and fall asleep by 3am, and then be up at 6am to go to the gym, then be at my desk by 8:30am. Those days are long gone. I get to bed 2am now and it’s all I can do to get up at 8am and drag myself to the subway.

To make matters worse, I’m not eating properly. We’re ordering a lot of Chinese and Indian food in the office, and I am getting no exercise.

It’s been interesting though. I’m dealing with very senior firm managers, top technology consultants, the best legal minds, and I’m actually managing them through a lot of the details. It’s a strange feeling — thousands of kids in the best business schools and technology schools in the world would kill for my job. Me, I can’t wait for it to end. I’d rather put all this stress behind me, quit my job and sell books on Amazon.

The merger will be complete by the beginning of June, so I can tone down the hours in the office and begin my recovery then. I’ll be checking in whenever I can in the meantime.

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