I’ve been lax about writing in this blog – a couple reasons for it. #1, my partner M. developed an awful antibiotic-resistant infection on his leg and ended up being hospitalized for more than two weeks, and then spent the next two weeks recuperating at home.
This infection was weird. It started out benign – a little pimple on the inside of his leg, and then turned into a much bigger pimple with red, irritated skin all around it. He stopped off at a walk-in clinic to have it looked at and they recommended he go to the emergency room immediately as it was infected. Once there, they ran some tests and found that it was some rare staph infection that is resistant to all but a couple antibiotics, and they insisted on holding him there for two weeks for a course of intraveneous antibiotics.
After two weeks, they let him home. Of course I am glad that he has recovered, but never has a two bedroom condominium felt so small as it has for the past two weeks. This morning he was finally given the go-ahead by his doctor to return to work, so I have the house to myself. It’s going to take a bit of time to get back into my routine.
The other reason I’ve been away from the blog is that my internet business has been taking up a lot of my time. This is a good thing; I’m doing well with it. It has its ups and downs though. I’ll go three days without many orders, and get panicky. Then the fourth day I’ll get more business than I’ve had in a week. It’s kind of manic, and I’m going to have to work on adjusting to this flow.
One other note, I’ve lost about 8 pounds, but this is more due to stress & being busy than to any special effort on my part. Now that M’s recent drama is over, I can get back on track with my own efforts.
Day 5 of my diet and, other than a wayward donut yesterday, I’ve done quite well. Breakfast has been a big glass of carrot and celery juice and then either toast with almond butter or a vegetable omelette. Lunch has been a sandwich and dinner has been organic meat with steamed veggies. I’m starting to get used to soy milk and cheese, and am not thinking about sweets nearly as much as I was earlier this week. I haven’t been as good about the gym as I would like, but I will get there tomorrow.
I have another motivation for doing this diet that I didn’t mention in my last post – in fact I hadn’t even thought about it much as I had planned for a while to start dieting this week anyway. But now that a few days have gone by, it’s standing out in my mind. I visited my Mom and Dad last Friday. My mother is in her late 70s and extremely overweight. She was quite fit until her 50s, and then her metabolism changed. She started putting on the pounds, just a few per year, but after 15-20 years they really adding up. She has type 1 diabetes and high blood pressure (both treated with pills), and is now suffering from congestive heart failure. She has spent the better part of her life depressed & miserable, and cedes a lot of control and responsibility to my father. She also blames other people for her weight and health issues. I find it impossible to talk to her about her health because I tend to approach issues logically and always recommended that she make some lifestyle changes, especially around diet and exercise. I’d point out that she could stop putting butter in everything, limit carbohydrates, avoid the two or three glasses of wine she has every day; and that she could exercise a bit more, even a little walk for 10 minutes — but she always had reasons why none of this was possible. Usually these reasons related to my father. If I pushed the subject she would either lash out in anger, or break down in tears. So I learned to avoid the subject, as have her other relatives and friends.
When I arrived at her house last week though she broke down in tears almost immediately –before I had even had a chance to say hello – and wailed that she has the most miserable life that anyone could imagine, that she can’t get out anymore, that her legs are too swollen to put on pants, her back is killing her, and she is utterly miserable. It was a sad moment for me because I realize that it is too late — changing her diet won’t make much difference, that exercise really isn’t possible anymore, that when one is in their late 70s it really is hard to bounce back. I didn’t say this. Instead I let her cry for a while, and then changed the subject when the moment seemed right.
I feel badly for my Mom. She has abused her body for many years now, and did not take some simple steps that would have put her in a far better place than she is today. People in my family generally live long, healthy lives – most of my relatives made it into their late nineties and were healthy right up until the end. She could have avoided her current predicament. But I have compassion because I recognize that I could easily end up the same way myself. I have the same weaknesses that she has – self-indulgence, love of good wine and food, and worst of all, procrastination. My mother was never one to take action. She bought hundreds of diet books over the years, but she never managed to stay on a diet for more than a month or two.
I’ve never been able to stick to a diet for more than a month or two either. Up until now I’ve been saved by youth and a fast metabolism, but now that I am approaching 50 I will either have to make some lifestyle changes of my own, or deal with some pretty heavy consequences in another 20 years.
