Midlife Beginnings

I’m taking a day off from work, and am catching up on my emails and internet browsing.  I’ve got an inbox full of emails for different websites, products and blogs that I’ve been meaning to read and follow up on, so today is my chance to catch up.

Long-time readers know that I became deeply dissatisfied with my job a couple years ago. I work for one of the major Wall Street banks as a business analyst.  Most people outside Wall Street didn’t hear much about banking problems until last Fall, but for those of us in the industry the writing was on the wall by late 2006, and the layoffs and stress began around the Summer of 2007.  By the beginning of 2008, my job was an absolute misery of increased demands and diminished resources, with rats jumping from the sinking ship all around me.

I was actively planning to quit my job no later than February 2009, to work full time on my internet business, and was even planing to volunteer to be laid off.  Then last Fall the shit hit the fan: banks all around me started collapsing, and friends and acquaintances throughout the city were losing their jobs with no notice and no severance.  Scary days.  Mine was one of two investment banks to survive. I decided to put my nose to the grindstone and hold on for another year before leaving.

Well, that year is up, and now other events conspire to keep me at my job.  First of all, the lease for my apartment will be up in February, and my landlord is making noise about moving into my apartment.  I don’t blame her: I have two floors of a brownstone and the back yard. Times are tight, and I pay a lot less than what she pays for her apartment.   But after 22 years, this is inconvenient timing, as to get an apartment in New York, you really need to have a job.

Also, things are picking up at work and I stand a good chance of being promoted.  Currently I earn just under six figures, and am at that cusp where a promotion would bring significantly more money.  The Investment Banking world is not where I want to be, but I have cultivated a special skill over the past few years that not many people have, and I could save a lot of money if the promotion goes through.

On the other hand, there are opportunities that I would pass up if I stay at this job.  My internet business is doing very well, and it is where my passion is.  I have been making good money at it lately and, given the preferred tax treatment for small business owners over salaried employees, I might even be able to make more from the business than from my banking job after a promotion.

I have also learned over the years how to trade securities.  One of the great frustrations of my job is that, because of my insider role, I have to be pre-approved to buy or sell stocks, and if I take a position I have to hold onto it for three months.  Three months is an eternity in this market, and goes against my philosophy of trading rather than investing.

So I’m faced with a decision: do I play it cautious for yet another couple years?  Do I keep a job I don’t like for a while longer instead of taking some risks and doing what I want to do?

Well, for a day anyway, I get to do what I want to do.  And to take a well-deserved break. I’ll deal with business for a couple more hours, and then it’s time to exercise and  enjoy the rest of the day.

btw I came across a thought-provoking  blog this morning called bripblap.  Written by a verbose middle-aged guy who writes frankly and directly, who lost 100 lbs over the past five years, and who is working toward financial freedom (and further along the path than I am!), I found a lot to inspire me there.  If I can ever extract myself from my 60-80 hour per week job, I hope to write a blog like his.